i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
