Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
