I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
