we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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