she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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