Dual....:-)
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
