do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
