think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
