This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize
