you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
