U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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