i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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