hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
