I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
