the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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