Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
17 year olds will be the death of me.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
