Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
how drunk are you?
Several
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
