I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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