Have you finally orgasmed yet?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
