The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I don't deserve a penis
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
