I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
