I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
