I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
