I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
