I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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