i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
