I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
