i just wanna soil my oats bro
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
