these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
