Grow some girl-balls and come out already
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
