fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize