No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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