I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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