I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
