areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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