She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We're too hungover to prance.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
