yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
