i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
