when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
vagina is talking i cant
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
