he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
not ubering you a puppy
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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