she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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