Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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