Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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