That's intense
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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