My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
