4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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