i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
