I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize