Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
