wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
