Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
