I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
