why didn't you poke me back
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize