He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
try to milk me bitch
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