I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
