He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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