Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
