you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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