Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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