I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
