Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
