That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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