My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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