actually, I'm a sock model
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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